Good Friday

By Ron Sanders

Campus Minister with Cru at Stanford University, Associate Faculty in Christian Ethics at Fuller Theological Seminary

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“…social rituals are containers of values and are ceremonies that help us through tough transitions.”
(Pauline Boss, Loss, Trauma and Resilience, xiii)

One of the ways that I have found helps me to get through loss or pain is through rituals or ceremonies. A ritual is a way to acknowledge a loss and is a symbol for grief; it is also a marker to symbolizing moving forward. It is not quite “getting over” a loss—some losses are just too great to “get over”—rather, it is a commitment to walk through that loss into something that is unknown. If you have read or decide to read Pat & Tammy’s story in Hit Hard, you will read about a ceremony of “ambiguous loss.” This was a way for them to set down a marker in their family’s life: grieving what was lost through their son Zach’s brain injury and committing to moving into their new reality together.

There is a litany in their ceremony (and their book) that was meant to be a communal acknowledgement of Zach’s accident. It is a nice way to bring people who have different experiences of the same event together to name their losses and commit toward something new. Here is a little bit more about litanies and then one that I have been working on during Covid-19.

A Litany is a communal prayer that consists of a supplication, petition, or declaration by the leader/pastor and a response by the community/congregation. I often use them as a way to create a communal expression (repentance, sorrow, celebration, etc.) for a common experience that our community has shared. They can have three parts (and I usually make it symmetrical, rhythmic, and repetitive). The three parts are: (1) thankfulness, (2) repentance or acknowledging suffering or loss, and (3) hope.

There is so much ritual and symbols throughout Holy Week—Palm Branches, Communion, Stations of the Cross, Easter Services—that I thought Good Friday might be a day to post a rough draft of a litany that I have been working on for a community of faith, a church or a college group, to begin to express their loss and their faith.

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Today we acknowledge the reality of living life in the shadow of a global pandemic and pray for all who are affected by Covid-19.

For God’s steady presence in the midst of trouble.

…we give thanks

For our friends and family who help to sustain us—For how our stories are filled with the grace of each other’s company.

…we give thanks.

For the opportunities we have had to gather as a community—For the laughter and the tears that we have shared.

…we give thanks

For those serving others at their own risk—For the health care professionals and the essential workers who care for us by going to work each day.

…we give thanks

For our common faith in Christ that knits us together as a global body of Christ—For the expression of that faith by doing our best to love our neighbor.

…we give thanks

For God’s kindness and grace when we are vulnerable.

…Lord have mercy

For the normal rhythms of our lives that have been disrupted—For the distance between us when we need connection and relationship.

…Lord have mercy

For the worries and fears that we have—For ourselves, our families, our friends, and the world.

…Lord have mercy

For all the things that we’ve lost, postponed, or missed that are listed below (…give some kind of space for people to name their personal losses—out loud, or in a Zoom/Google chat).

…Lord have mercy

For those that are sick and need care—For those families who have lost someone (…give some kind of space for people to actually say the name of a person they care for).

…Lord have mercy

For the hope that God will have the last word over disease, sickness, sin, and death.

…Thanks be to God

For the stories of the beauty of humanity that we get to see—For the reminder of the presence of God’s image in people.

…Thanks be to God.

For the grace that comes through our relationships together—For the love we experience in the smallest gestures.

…Thanks be to God

For a renewed appreciation toward the people we love—For the hope of new friendships and reconciled relationships.

…Thanks be to God

For a Messiah who is kind to the hurting—For a Lord who is gentle with those who vulnerable.

…Thanks be to God

Now, may the Father who sustains the world, the Son who suffered alongside of humanity, and the Holy Spirit who is the great comforter, give you grace in this time of uncertainty, give you hope in this time of despair, and give you strength to love others in the way that Christ loved us.

…Amen

Photography by Bonnie Sanders