“Surrender” is a heavy word…don’t you think?
Does it blatantly call for one to “give up?”
Lately, I find myself in a tension. With different parts of the state, nation, and world re-opening, the whisper of unity has all but vanished like smoke. I find my own anxieties are at war with practicality.
As a believer, I continually hear the age old phrase “surrender to the Lord.” Until COVID-19, I
didn’t viscerally understand the word “surrender” and how it manifests into my physical body. The temptation to “give up” looks like tearful prayers, anxious pleas, and submitting to the fear of the unknown.
But, since creating this piece, I’ve discovered a new definition for surrender. What if surrender
didn’t actually mean “give up?” What if instead, it means “to open up?” Maybe the desire to
surrender is my Savior asking me to open my hands, open my heart, and open my ears? Maybe He’s asking me to quiet my soul and open myself into His perfect love?
At the mercy of the wind, I found myself negotiating and manipulating the fabric, as if it was a
conscious being. I found myself in a dialogue where I needed to be open to any changes that
might come my way, trusting that I would find my way out of a tangle of fabric. I’ll let you
decide if the fabric is a friend or foe, if I’m tangled or embraced. “Surrender” is no longer a
defeat but an invitation. Regardless of what you think the fabric and I are negotiating, I trust the Lord is embracing me, holding me up so that I can let go.